The Mom’s of Grace web community (Check it out! It’s awesome!) has a thread called Encouraging Widows. This ministry has a special place in my heart. I’m not a widow, but I can relate to feeling lonely for my husband when he travels. I’ve found that this experience, though quite painful, has been a blessing in that it has taught me about trusting in God through loneliness and has given me insight into what this looks and feels like.
I should also note that it was my mother in law who shared this tip with me, and who always has a handful of cards for every occasion in her Bible to send to people “for their encouragement.”
Here’s an excerpt from my post:
I’m not a widow, but I have a heart for ministering to widows. If anyone happens to click on this thread and thinks “I wish I had more time so I could minister to widows” let me encourage you with something small you can do that makes a big difference: Send them cards and letters! Even if you can’t physically visit with them, you can visit their mailbox!
My friends who are widows/widowers (elderly all the way down to a 30 yr old mom of three!) tell me that their biggest hurt is loneliness. Writing to them lets them know you care and are their friend!! And, you can write them at 3am while you’re nursing a newborn – no one will ever know ;-)
Initially, widows get many many sympathy cards – and then people don’t know how to relate to them.
I like “Thinking of You” cards and “Have a happy day” type cards because it takes the focus off of suffering and puts it more on living each day – something to look forward to. You don’t have to just talk about death – talk about LIFE and how much you need them! Give them hope!
Share happy memories you have shared with their spouse, rather than just saying “I’m sorry they’re gone.” “I was at the grocery store today and I bought a jar of Nutella. I remember the first time I had Nutella was at a ladies breakfast, when Mary brought it as a special treat. Every time I taste it, it reminds me of what a dear friend she was. The Lord blessed her with the gift of hospitality! I am so thankful for the memories I shared with her, and I wanted to let you know that I miss her and that I’m praying for you – will join our family for breakfast on Saturday so we can have Nutella and croissants together?”
Thank them for being a part of your life (show them they are needed!): “It was so nice to see you at the community garage sale this weekend. I want you to know that we take time each day to pray for you and that we love you very much. The children are looking forward to seeing you at the craft fair next week – thanks for making a difference in their lives!”
Remember weddings/birthdays/other anniversaries: “I saw on the calendar that today IS Phillips birthday. I wanted to let you know that I prayed for you this morning, as I know how much you miss him. I remember one year how you baked him a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, because it was his favorite. I want you to know how much that ministered to my heart. Your love for him really set an example for how I should be finding little ways to express love to my husband. Thank you very much for giving me this gift – by modeling this for myself and others to see. Celebrating Phillip’s life with you today! Love, ____.”Hope that these writing ideas encourage people in this important ministry!!
James 1:26-29 (New American Standard Bible)
If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.Much love,
Sarah Joy Albrecht
< -- This photo is of me and my mother in law, Becky Albrecht, at Liz & Ben Mitchell's wedding.