Mommy-blogosphere is a twitter today with the release of Miley Cyrus’ new music video, “Can’t Be Tamed”.
In it, Cyrus looks like a raven who forgot to get dressed for the day. (Do ravens even wear pants?) She sings about her intentions while dancing on the poles of her birdcage.
Many parents have daughters who have grown up with Cyrus’ alter-ego, Hannah Montana. Perplexed over how to explain this change to their daughters, they are afraid they may have to tell them that they are no longer permitted to listen to their beloved singer because she is not who she used to be.
In the words of Soraya Roberts of the NYDailyNews,
“Writhing in a large nest within a giant birdcage, the 17-year-old pop star, wearing S&M-style gear, looks provocatively at the camera complaining that she feels like a specimen.
She proceeds to engage in some raunchy pole dancing, her plunging body-hugging black bodice, complete with expansive bird wings (the curator in the video says she is a member of the extinct species Avian Cyrus), leaving little to the imagination.”
The article is accompanied by this poll:
“Do you think Miley Cyrus’ new video is too saucy for a 17-year-old?
Yes, where are her parents?!
No, she’s almost an adult.
Who’s Hannah Montana?
The emphasized concern, of course, is that feathered Cyrus is not legally an adult.
As a millionaire who makes her own decisions about most of her life, however, she is essentially living as an adult, proving that Americans still hold age as a standard for maturity vs. self-reliance or life experience.
It is an especially interesting double standard, given that many Americans are at peace with sending 18 year old men off to war. Teens shooting “bad guys” in the head is okay, but it is shocking when Cyrus wears a black corset that provides more coverage than most women wear at the beach.
Frankly, Cyrus’ video portrays exactly the kind of behavior I’d expect from a woman struggling to handle the massive amount of attention from strange men in her life. She is trying express her own sexuality, but is attempting (poorly) to tell them they can’t touch her unless it is on her terms.
It’s easy to do our part by clicking on,”Where are her parents?” to vote our outrage. How often, though, with our own children do we discuss sex? This video is just one more example of why we must discuss it with our daughters, while they are still young. Should we allow just any man to touch us? How does Cyrus’ message mesh with her actions? Are her words consistent with her suggestive behavior? Why do we wear modest swimsuits, anyway?
When we think that people under 21 (yes, even Christians) do not have sexual desires, we kid ourselves. Realistically, it is parents who are embarrassed to talk to anyone younger than 21 about sex. Kids talk about sex all the time, at the level that they understand. Even young children know something’s going on between their parents, which is why they get flustered when their parents are kissing or holding hands in public. They have a feeling that it is somehow connected to things private.
The truth is, “Should a 17 year old express sexual feelings?” is the wrong question to be asking. Instead, we need to broaden our perspective and ask, “What should people, including adults and teens, do with sexual feelings?”
For starters, sex is a good thing; a gift from God.
However, it is for people who are married.
Instead of pretending sexuality and birdcages don’t exist, parents who have seen Cyrus’ new video have an opportunity to talk to their children about it in the context of thinking critically about everything they do.
From the food we eat to the entertainment we buy, we need to constantly be challenging ourselves and our children to check our hearts and actions against the true standard, God’s Holy Word.
A well-balanced perspective. Thanks.
.-= Laurie M.´s last blog ..Monday Meanderings – growing from the giftedness of others =-.
Thanks, Laurie!
I love reading your blog, btw! Appreciate your thoughts on your true character in the sidebar :)
.-= Sarah Joy Albrecht´s last blog ..Sin Isn’t That Big of a Deal =-.
Hadn’t stopped by here in awhile – sorry. Really loved how you wrote this. I don’t keep up with Miley Cyrus, so hadn’t heard the buzz. My heart breaks for her just a little because she is still just a child. When I was 17 I had parents protecting me, helping me. I knew exactly what I was feeling, and what my body was going through, but I had guidance on how to be wise with those feelings. (not saying I was always sin free in my actions, but at least I had someone keeping me from flaunting my body in front of the whole world…)
And being military, often hear that discussion about 18 being old enough to fight in a war… but not to buy beer! You should hear those boys complain about that. So many of them are still just boys, but become men quickly enough.
.-= Bethany´s last blog ..7th Birthday pictures =-.
Thanks, Bethany!
I’m not a Miley Cyrus fan either — but I did see the buzz and am always interested to know how parents handle pop culture.
My heart breaks for her, too.
Love reading your blog! Your children are growing up so fast! What a lovely party :)
Much love,
SJA
You have made some excellent points here. I absolutely agree that parents need to be open with their children about this issue and help them build a strong foundation so that they are able to make good choices.
I think my biggest issue with Miley’s image and the fact that her parents allow it is that they are a family that has publicly expressed their faith as Christians. I know many celebrities claim Christianity, but it has almost seemed like the Cyrus family has gone out of their way to do so at times. I felt the same way when Jessica Simpson decided to take most of her clothes off in the videos for her second album (after all the press about her father being a youth minister and that her faith was her reason for saving herself for marriage). Christian artists in the mainstream spotlight have an opportunity to be different, but I think it just easier to compromise. Eventually they end up looking and acting no different than anyone else.
Anyway…I discovered your blog via a mutual friend on facebook (I clicked on your name thinking you were someone else! haha!). I have read a few posts and really appreciate your perspective on life, faith, and motherhood. Take care!
Melissa
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..The Dishes Can Wait =-.
Melissa,
You have an excellent point as well.
I guess I grew up in a costumed / acting family and the costumes in the video to me were fine.
The message is more of concern to me, “can’t be tamed”. We are to be conformed to Christ.
I’ve enjoyed reading your blog this morning!! :) Subscribed via Google.
Great points all.
I was especially struck by your observation that Ms. Cyrus is essentially an adult. My youngest niece is 17 and emancipated. (Both her parents passed away, she chose not to move two states away to live with me and didn’t want to be in the foster care system.) She has been emancipated since she was 16 and is doing well – has a job and just started her final year in high school. Not everyone can do that but it is right for her. We keep in touch and she knows to call when she needs advice or other help. This includes conversations about sexuality and because I’ve never been anything less than frank with her on any topic, she feels quite comfortable discuss this with me.
Thank you for the great post!