Response to Shooting in CT: Love IS a “Meaningful Action”
7 Replies to “Response to Shooting in CT: Love IS a “Meaningful Action””
FAKE!!! Why are people hurting? I ask you the question SJA?????
Brandy,
Why do you say fake? Not sure what you mean.
Why are people hurting? People are amazing and unique. One person may be able to handle certain situations that for another is too much to bear. As you probably know, it’s not a question that has one simple answer.
Our response, though, is to love people where they are, and to let them know they have comfort and salvation in Christ. There really is no spiritual healing apart from Christ. Points of pain in a person’s life can be compounded by the hurt of lack of forgiveness. Certainly Christ forgave us and we can forgive others. It doesn’t erase the past, but it does release us from continuing to take the poison of bitterness.
Regarding hurt and mental health issues, which I alluded to in my video, one difference of opinion that I do have with some people whom I highly respect is that I do think that there is a place for medical treatment for mental illness, with a range from treating by understanding triggers (for example, a hormonal imbalance, allergies, etc.) to treating with medication. However, I do not believe that medication *alone* is the answer to mental health issues.
I hope that answers your question.
How’s it going, by the way? I miss you!
Much love,
Sarah
People are hurting becasuse we live in a broken world. We have the power through Christ to work through all conflict. Working through conflict takes work and a the spirit of Christ and a respect for the broken parts in our relationships and taking responsibility for any part we play in them. Pride gets in the way of forgivness and reconcilation. Famalies and strong relationships are broken as a result. That child (the name I will not speak) was broken. What makes me sad is seeing people appear to have a form of forgivness or speak on the “how to” and live another way. We all can learn from this broken boy… this is what the spirit of unforgivness leads us to. Mental illness in some cases can trigger because of conflict and anger in life. Gathering information from trusted media I would say this child had a lot of stressful triggers in his life that were unresolved. I have worked in mental health with children like this and one thing I have practiced is teaching a family how to take responsibility in the home in mantaining safety for the at times “out of contol child”. In doing this, I have suggested things like limiting exposure to violent materials which could be viewed or used to assult or injure. We as a nation need to start in our homes, in our own lives as you have said in the video in talking with our children about what took place, and how in our own lives we and resolve conflict in a healthy way.
FAKE is talking about it. People are hurting because we allow it by DOING little with what we have been given to resolve hurt and conflict.
Brandy, I am proud of you for what you do!!
You’re 100% right — fake is JUST talking about it. I am hopeful that my video will encourage people to do more than just talk!
As I mentioned in my video, it is particularly frustrating to me that many pastors only talk about reaching out to people but rarely reach out themselves. There are often not plans in place in churches to accept hurting people into their congregation… and they’ve never had the opportunity to practice what they preach because they do not even _seem_ welcoming to hurting people.
According to Penny Simkin, one in four women have suffered from sexual abuse in some form. As a childbirth instructor and doula, I have seen first hand how sexual abuse effects pregnancy, childbirth and parenting. It has shaped the way that I teach about pregnancy (especially addressing fears and emotional relaxation when facing labor), help write birth plans (sometimes with very specific requests like, “Unless there is a medical emergency, please do not touch me without first asking”), and providing comfort to women in labor and helping to manage the atmosphere of the birth room. It amazes me how doctors often know about their patients past abuse and yet just walk into a room and perform a vaginal exam as if they were checking the oil on a car!! It is my job to make sure, in the most gentlest of ways, that all women are treated with dignity.
In our own neighborhood, where broken homes, drugs and shootings are prevalent, we make it a point to befriend even the bullies… and many “bullies” have become our good friends :)
Sadly, several times in recent months, the mental illness of a close family member has become especially heartbreaking because of some violent toward others that occurred when she had a lapse in medication and supervision. She was institutionalized for a while. It was heartbreaking to talk to my sweet ______ while she was in locked in a group room with people who were screaming and smearing poop on the walls. In the state mental hospital, other than being forced to take medication, nothing was done as far as counseling or rehabilitation. It’s essentially prison. As an advocate for her, I have pressed for an assisted living arrangement instead so that we can visit her more frequently :)
Another long-time friend has been in jail for nearly a year because of actions stemming from mental illness.
The way the last two loved ones I mentioned are treated exactly as described in the post I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother, which has been picked up by HuffPo and is currently trending.
Prayer can go a long way. Mental health care has come a long way. History shows a timeline of poor care for the mentally ill. Today, things have improved and having worked in healthcare in mental health facilities, what can appear to be bad treatment is often the only legal measures staff can take to make sure staff and clients are safe. What I am speaking more about is what we can do in our homes to help ill children. The article you speak about showed actions and plans taken by a mother helped keep a family safe. Medication for mental illinesses is very new and is changing all the time. We are finding more infomration everyday about how even medication can trigger psychotic episodes. My God is a great doctor and I would like to see more famalies in there homes turn to the great physician. My son Jacob went through home rehab as a child to help him have the ability to attend school. When almost every person told me medication would be best for him… I tired it and I took him off it it… he was worse on it. His teacher wanted him on and I changed everything I could in my home as an alternative to meds to treat him fully. Mind, body and spirit. My son is an amazing loving, smart, ADHD, mildly autistic and dyslexic child who some would view as being not so intelligent. It took the good Lord to give me vision for my child. Eliminating violent video games, youth group, diet, sports, love among other things was the best for HIM. I did not rely on a falty system to tell he how to care for him. I called on God and he was faithful. God willing he will grow and continue to make good choice for his life. I pray for improvements in the mental health system. I also pray that parent like (….) will make better choices in what they expose their children to. I am not anti-gun… but I would never put a gun on in the hand of a child with issues like (….) had. People need to take more personal responsibility to that and make sure that they are responsible with guns or knives, as the mother stated in the article you spoke about did in her home. When the system fails, you are still the parent. She is an amazing mother and he is lucky to have her.
Sarah, thanks for this video I think that the perspective you bring is a really important one. Surveying Facebook and Twitter, there are lots of proposed solutions to the problem of mass violence, unfortunately they are almost all procedural solutions. Not that there isn’t a place for that, but in real life whatever one’s opinion of gun control or the medical treatment of mentally ill people or school security or whatever is, we have no actual control of those matters.
But, with what you are talking about we can make an actual difference in our spheres of influence. We can love and care for those around us who are hurting and broken. That means for most of us that we would open our hearts and lives to those that we might prefer not to. Its messy. Helping your addicted uncle or incarcerated nephew or pregnant teenage daughter of a coworker or that homeless guy you always pass on the way to the gym, really getting to know them to find out how you may care for them and love them and perhaps provide for them what they need and cannot provide for themselves…well…its uncomfortable. But its good and beautiful and can make a difference.
This is especially important for Christians. We often aren’t that great at doing this, even though it is a huge part (the greater part?) of what it means to follow Jesus of Nazareth. I fear we get caught up with arguments about what is wrong with the world and forget the small but cumulative ways that we can make the world a better place.
I just read this and had to share as it touches on this very topic
FAKE!!! Why are people hurting? I ask you the question SJA?????
Brandy,
Why do you say fake? Not sure what you mean.
Why are people hurting? People are amazing and unique. One person may be able to handle certain situations that for another is too much to bear. As you probably know, it’s not a question that has one simple answer.
Our response, though, is to love people where they are, and to let them know they have comfort and salvation in Christ. There really is no spiritual healing apart from Christ. Points of pain in a person’s life can be compounded by the hurt of lack of forgiveness. Certainly Christ forgave us and we can forgive others. It doesn’t erase the past, but it does release us from continuing to take the poison of bitterness.
Regarding hurt and mental health issues, which I alluded to in my video, one difference of opinion that I do have with some people whom I highly respect is that I do think that there is a place for medical treatment for mental illness, with a range from treating by understanding triggers (for example, a hormonal imbalance, allergies, etc.) to treating with medication. However, I do not believe that medication *alone* is the answer to mental health issues.
I hope that answers your question.
How’s it going, by the way? I miss you!
Much love,
Sarah
People are hurting becasuse we live in a broken world. We have the power through Christ to work through all conflict. Working through conflict takes work and a the spirit of Christ and a respect for the broken parts in our relationships and taking responsibility for any part we play in them. Pride gets in the way of forgivness and reconcilation. Famalies and strong relationships are broken as a result. That child (the name I will not speak) was broken. What makes me sad is seeing people appear to have a form of forgivness or speak on the “how to” and live another way. We all can learn from this broken boy… this is what the spirit of unforgivness leads us to. Mental illness in some cases can trigger because of conflict and anger in life. Gathering information from trusted media I would say this child had a lot of stressful triggers in his life that were unresolved. I have worked in mental health with children like this and one thing I have practiced is teaching a family how to take responsibility in the home in mantaining safety for the at times “out of contol child”. In doing this, I have suggested things like limiting exposure to violent materials which could be viewed or used to assult or injure. We as a nation need to start in our homes, in our own lives as you have said in the video in talking with our children about what took place, and how in our own lives we and resolve conflict in a healthy way.
FAKE is talking about it. People are hurting because we allow it by DOING little with what we have been given to resolve hurt and conflict.
Brandy, I am proud of you for what you do!!
You’re 100% right — fake is JUST talking about it. I am hopeful that my video will encourage people to do more than just talk!
As I mentioned in my video, it is particularly frustrating to me that many pastors only talk about reaching out to people but rarely reach out themselves. There are often not plans in place in churches to accept hurting people into their congregation… and they’ve never had the opportunity to practice what they preach because they do not even _seem_ welcoming to hurting people.
According to Penny Simkin, one in four women have suffered from sexual abuse in some form. As a childbirth instructor and doula, I have seen first hand how sexual abuse effects pregnancy, childbirth and parenting. It has shaped the way that I teach about pregnancy (especially addressing fears and emotional relaxation when facing labor), help write birth plans (sometimes with very specific requests like, “Unless there is a medical emergency, please do not touch me without first asking”), and providing comfort to women in labor and helping to manage the atmosphere of the birth room. It amazes me how doctors often know about their patients past abuse and yet just walk into a room and perform a vaginal exam as if they were checking the oil on a car!! It is my job to make sure, in the most gentlest of ways, that all women are treated with dignity.
In our own neighborhood, where broken homes, drugs and shootings are prevalent, we make it a point to befriend even the bullies… and many “bullies” have become our good friends :)
Sadly, several times in recent months, the mental illness of a close family member has become especially heartbreaking because of some violent toward others that occurred when she had a lapse in medication and supervision. She was institutionalized for a while. It was heartbreaking to talk to my sweet ______ while she was in locked in a group room with people who were screaming and smearing poop on the walls. In the state mental hospital, other than being forced to take medication, nothing was done as far as counseling or rehabilitation. It’s essentially prison. As an advocate for her, I have pressed for an assisted living arrangement instead so that we can visit her more frequently :)
Another long-time friend has been in jail for nearly a year because of actions stemming from mental illness.
The way the last two loved ones I mentioned are treated exactly as described in the post I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother, which has been picked up by HuffPo and is currently trending.
Medication is something that needs to be examined in this conversation on helping people who are hurting, as well as the alternatives, such as counseling. FWIW, I highly recommend Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation and Peacemaker Ministries.
Much love,
Sarah
Prayer can go a long way. Mental health care has come a long way. History shows a timeline of poor care for the mentally ill. Today, things have improved and having worked in healthcare in mental health facilities, what can appear to be bad treatment is often the only legal measures staff can take to make sure staff and clients are safe. What I am speaking more about is what we can do in our homes to help ill children. The article you speak about showed actions and plans taken by a mother helped keep a family safe. Medication for mental illinesses is very new and is changing all the time. We are finding more infomration everyday about how even medication can trigger psychotic episodes. My God is a great doctor and I would like to see more famalies in there homes turn to the great physician. My son Jacob went through home rehab as a child to help him have the ability to attend school. When almost every person told me medication would be best for him… I tired it and I took him off it it… he was worse on it. His teacher wanted him on and I changed everything I could in my home as an alternative to meds to treat him fully. Mind, body and spirit. My son is an amazing loving, smart, ADHD, mildly autistic and dyslexic child who some would view as being not so intelligent. It took the good Lord to give me vision for my child. Eliminating violent video games, youth group, diet, sports, love among other things was the best for HIM. I did not rely on a falty system to tell he how to care for him. I called on God and he was faithful. God willing he will grow and continue to make good choice for his life. I pray for improvements in the mental health system. I also pray that parent like (….) will make better choices in what they expose their children to. I am not anti-gun… but I would never put a gun on in the hand of a child with issues like (….) had. People need to take more personal responsibility to that and make sure that they are responsible with guns or knives, as the mother stated in the article you spoke about did in her home. When the system fails, you are still the parent. She is an amazing mother and he is lucky to have her.
Sarah, thanks for this video I think that the perspective you bring is a really important one. Surveying Facebook and Twitter, there are lots of proposed solutions to the problem of mass violence, unfortunately they are almost all procedural solutions. Not that there isn’t a place for that, but in real life whatever one’s opinion of gun control or the medical treatment of mentally ill people or school security or whatever is, we have no actual control of those matters.
But, with what you are talking about we can make an actual difference in our spheres of influence. We can love and care for those around us who are hurting and broken. That means for most of us that we would open our hearts and lives to those that we might prefer not to. Its messy. Helping your addicted uncle or incarcerated nephew or pregnant teenage daughter of a coworker or that homeless guy you always pass on the way to the gym, really getting to know them to find out how you may care for them and love them and perhaps provide for them what they need and cannot provide for themselves…well…its uncomfortable. But its good and beautiful and can make a difference.
This is especially important for Christians. We often aren’t that great at doing this, even though it is a huge part (the greater part?) of what it means to follow Jesus of Nazareth. I fear we get caught up with arguments about what is wrong with the world and forget the small but cumulative ways that we can make the world a better place.
I just read this and had to share as it touches on this very topic
http://roadsfromemmaus.org/2012/12/17/where-was-christ-in-the-newtown-massacre/