Category: Archives

I just finished reading this great post at one of my favorite blogs, Desiring God. I thought it was worth sharing. Enjoy!

by Jason Kovacs

There are many ways that you can express your pastoral care for those considering adoption and those who have adopted already. As an adoptive father and former pastor, I offer a few thoughts on how to help adoption become a biblically based, heart-led, missional movement in your church and not merely another program on your church’s list.

1. Develop your own heart for the fatherless.

God calls Himself a “father to the fatherless” (Psalm 68:5) and emphasizes throughout Scripture his special care for orphans. In fact, the very heart of the gospel is God’s passion to not only redeem sinners but to adopt them as his very sons and daughters (Ephesians 1:4-5).

Many adoptive parents and those pursuing adoption feel alone in their churches because it seems like no one understands. By communicating that adoption is fundamentally connected to the gospel and the nature of God you will challenge the view that adoption is a “plan B” if a couple cannot have children biologically.

2. Do a biblical study on God’s perspective on orphans.

As you develop your heart for adoption, pass this on to your people in your preaching. You can start by simply looking up all the instances in the Bible to the “fatherless.”

3. Educate yourself on basic facts about adoption and orphan care.

Did you know there are roughly 129,000 children waiting to be adopted today in the US and over 132 million orphans worldwide? That is a starting point to stir your heart to pray and cry to God for his justice and grace to be poured out on their behalf.

Some websites I’ve found helpful in keeping me aware of these issues are…

Cry of the Orphan

Joint Council of International Children’s Services

US State Department Office of Children’s Issues

US Department of Health and Human Services

Your awareness of these kinds of things will speak volumes to the church you lead. Whether it is through your preaching, teaching, or just regular conversation, your church will begin to hear this and will gain God’s heart and perspective on adoption.

Your understanding will also touch those who have adopted and who are considering it.

4. Ask questions.

Listening is one of the most powerful expressions of your care. Learn to ask the right questions. Here are a few good ones to ask:

* Why are you considering adoption? Are you both on the same page? If not, where do you differ?
* Do you both have the faith for adoption?
* Are you aware of the risks, ups, downs, and unknowns of adoption?
* Have you talked to other adoptive families about their experience?
* Have you been praying together about this?
* Where do you feel called to adopt from?
* What kind of support do you have in place?
* Are you aware of the cost of adoption? How will you pay for it? Will you need help?

5. Remind them that they desire a good and God-magnifying thing.

Encourage those pursuing adoption with God’s heart for the fatherless. Encourage them with God’s promises to direct their steps (Prov 16:9). Encourage them with God’s faithfulness to provide.

6. Keep on encouraging them.

Those who step out in faith to adopt enter a journey filled with many ups and downs. Keep supporting them throughout the process. Ideally, they will have a care group or some close friends that will be able to do this as well.

7. Provide financial counsel and help.

The majority of couples adopting are challenged by the high costs. Any ways that you can provide encouragement and help financially will express love in a very tangible way.

One way you can do this is by establishing a church adoption fund to offer grants and loans to members. You can visit Hope for 100 for an example of what one church in Texas is doing.

8. Cry with them and celebrate with them.

The majority of adoptions are filled with great highs and great lows.

There are often many tears shed due to failed placements and other setbacks. There is also unparalleled joy in being matched with your child and bringing them home.

Do what you can to enter into their experience. Embody the compassion and empathy of Christ in the hard times and magnify the joy of the Father in the celebration.

9. Celebrate adoptions publicly in services.

Give time during worship services not only to teach on God’s heart for orphans, but also to celebrate specific adoptions. You can perhaps do this as part of Sanctity of Life Sunday or in conjunction with another special day such as Mothers’ or Fathers’ Day. Also, November is National Adoption Awareness Month.

There are many ways you can publicly celebrate adoption during the service such having an adoptive family share their story, honoring adoptive parents in the congregation, or taking a special offering for your church adoption fund. Be creative!

10. Don’t feel like you have to have all the answers.

Use the wisdom and experience of the Christian adoption community. There are a growing number of resources available, including many churches that have ministries aimed at promoting and supporting adoption.

Encourage those in your church who have a passion for adoption to lead the church in caring for the fatherless and supporting adoption. And remember you are not alone! There is a community of others to support you and above all, God, the Father of the fatherless, is with you to provide all that is needed to follow his call to care for the “least of these.”

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For more information on the connection between our adoption by God and our adoption of children please visit Together for Adoption. We will be hosting our second national conference on adoption this October in Nashville.

Jay Adams’ books Competent to Counsel and Handbook of Church Discipline: Right and Privilege of Every Church Member (dissertation/handbook on Matthew 18) are books that have been influential in my life. I first discovered Adams whilst combing through my mother-in-law’s bookshelves.

Recently, Adams turned eighty! He reflected on this milestone in his blog. Below is a lovely excerpt. The post in it’s entirety can be found here.

At eighty, I ought to have some sage advice to give the young. Let’s see, if I were to pick one thing only, that might be of importance, what would it be? Hmmmm…

I know one! Prepare for old age. True, you may never make it; there are former students of mine who have died already. If you don’t have some activity that you can engage in for the Lord, you will probably end up a sour and regretful old person. There’s always something one can do so long as he has control of his basic faculties. If he is bedridden, he can pray.

Happy Birthday, Jay! I appreciate your gentle, practical thoughts on applications of scripture and for taking the time to write them down so as to share them with the rest of us. I am thankful for your clarity of mind – even for your eyesight – at 80. I’m looking forward to seeing how God will use you the rest of your days. You are loved!

Note: I’m tagging this with “Stewardship” as our days are a gift from God. Psalm 139 tells us he knows how many of them we will have before we’re even born. (This is a passage I reflect upon often!) How will we use the life God has given to us for His glory? Adam points out that no matter what our physical state, there are always ways we can use the abilities that we have for the Lord.

How to Do a Fireman’s Carry from wikiHow.
Because you never know when you may need to ‘do’ it.

“In our society, women are repeatedly told ad nauseam, by those periodic packaged lies called women’s magazines, that it is their responsibility to deck themselves out in such a way that they ‘keep’ their man. A woman may be able to do this successfully in her twenties, and then have to work a little harder in her thirties and forties. Then, if she still buys all this foolishness, she really has to work in her fifties and sixties, because she is always competing with twenty-year-olds. If a wife treats fidelity in marriage as a prize to be obtained through competition, then somewhere, sometime, she is going to lose. This is the way of the world. But if she approaches it as a Christian woman, the older she gets, the more beautiful and serene she gets (1 Pet. 3:5)” (Her Hand in Marriage, pp. 50-51).

This quote is comforting, pressure-relieving and peace-giving on so many levels – because it’s the truth. Wilson recently featured this section of his book on his blog. His books and his blog are great resources, and I highly recommend them.

As I worked in the rain, chopping ice on our walkway (I discovered that if chop in a straight line, then crosshatch… the diamond cut ice lifts easier) the landlord walked by on the gravel driveway that loops toward his house. He was smoking and carrying a small bag of groceries.

I have noticed that lately he is making the grocery trips instead of his wife – who was walking to the store in the snow quite sturdily by herself when we first moved here. His wife is no longer driving. When he chauffeurs, he uses her car, which is much prettier and more comfortable than his black miniature van that he uses when he goes out by himself. He drives right up to their house so she doesn’t have to walk to her carport, which is on the other side of our house. He treats her very gently and with great care. It is so beautiful and so sad, it breaks my heart to watch. He walks has been more hunched than usual, with his head down, as though his heart is very heavy.

While shoveling, I saw some bright green flower buds poking up through the yukideoowareru ground, just on the edge of the retaining wall. They looked like they belonged to some species of daffodil or snow drop. Seeing them momentarily cheered up my winter blues.

My landlord is a farmer, and I know he loves flowers and all things growing. I smiled and said “konnichiwa” and motioned for him to come over. I leaned down and showed him the little buds.

He tugged at his navy blue coveralls and stooped over to get a closer look. Hundreds of lines on his leathery face contracted into one big crooked smile-wrinkle. The right corner of his mouth firmly gripped his cigarette.

“Kore wa nan desu ka?” I asked. He motioned they’d grow to be about a foot tall and tried to tell me the name of the flower – which I repeated, but neither understood nor properly pronounced. With a little wave of his hand, he gave up with trying to name the flower, and simply said, “hana,” which means flower. (I know this word from the word “hanami“, which means flower viewing, and refers to throwing a little party to observe the cherry blossoms.)

I truly hope that thoughts of spring in this dreary, wintry land will help brighten his day. I am working up the nerve to ask “Daijoubu desu ka?” but, I don’t want to offend him by letting him know that I can tell the honne from the tatemae. I want to tell him that I pray for him and his family all the time, and I am trying to think of a way to do this in a way that would be comforting and not embarrassing to him.

I wish I could just wrap my arms around him and hug him.

I really enjoyed this video detailing many beautiful ways to slice a cucumber. While I am quite inspired to try some of these techniques, I’m experiencing a little knife envy.

The Japanese word for cucumber is “kyuri”. They are midori in color :)

Enjoy!