Category: Archives

What if your wife always kept your favorite beer stocked in the fridge?

To some wives, it may seem like a crazy thing to do. Buying beer may not something “ingrained” into the way some women think – and it may even require a detour from their comfort zone to go to the beer section of the grocery store or even ::gulp:: to the beer distributor.

Would it make you feel loved, though, if she did?

It would let you know that she cared about the things that were important to you after a hard day’s work. It would let you know that she valued your contribution to the household, and that, rather than handing you one more thing for you to do when you get home, she’d find a way to be a blessing to you instead.

Consider this —

When you pick up your clothes vs. leave on floor for wife to clean, your actions tell her that you respect her time and personhood.

When I tweeted this earlier, my Twitter bud @Kuma said,

“You assume that his leaving [clothes] for wife is a conscious choice. As a single man I can tell you it is genetically ingrained. We will get to it when we need to. It’s just that women’s ‘need to’ threshold is so much lower.”

I definitely agree with Kuma that leaving laundry on the floor is a tough habit to break.

To clarify, I do not assume that, just because clothes are left on the floor, although it may feel like it to a lady with lots of housework on her to-do list, it is not usually the conscious intention of a man to stick it to his wife.

As Kuma alluded, many men may have had well-intentioned mothers who cleaned bedrooms for them since early childhood, and dirty laundry was whisked away as if magical elves lived in the crannies with the dust bunnies. (And yes, dear, if you’re reading this… I am sometimes guilty of this…. especially when the Realtor is en route!)

Part of what makes relationships special, though, is doing the things that aren’t always convenient.

In fact, when someone goes out of their comfort zone to honor someone else, it means much more than doing something that comes naturally.

Sure, it’s just a sock.
Or, a piece of underwear.
Or your clerty (kinda clean + kinda dirty) shirt.

For the woman you’d travel to the ends of the earth to woo, just picking up a piece of laundry shouldn’t be that big of a deal… right?

Now, for those of you wives who are reading this, before you forward this post to your laundry-leaving husbands, consider all of the wonderful things they already do for you.

Without any expectations of change, change your own heart first.

Picking up his favorite beverage shouldn’t be that big of a deal… right?

For husbands who do clean up their laundry or are considering making this change — know that it is a gesture that is much appreciated. Picking up your clothes is one of many subtle ways to underscore how much you care.

To make everyday married love work, you have to put love in the everyday.

Photo credit : Anders Adermark and Jeezny.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Feeling like your life is a bit of a mess at the moment?

Been there…. more than once.

Curious what mistakes people frequently make in the midst of hardship and how to prevent them?

What are some tips for staying organized when so much is coming at you at once… without obsessing?

On whom should you depend when you need advice?

Recently, I wrote down five important tips that have helped me to navigate through tough times.

You can find my post, Five Tips to Keep Your Balance When You Don’t Know Which End is Up, at RealZest : Women Who Think .

Photo: Close-up Freefall

My favorite Japanese Maple tree has shed its leaves.

I love its fall color so much, I decided to find a match for future use.

It would make a lovely library wall color, don’t you think?

Ace Hardware’s Cherry Chocolate F52.

You’re welcome.

We’re back in the US…

While we knew we were coming back, we did not have an exit date… until the very last minute.

On a Friday, Tom got the “all clear” to call the movers.

Monday, the movers sent out someone to inventory the house and estimate the move. It took 30 minutes to assess the house, and we were told all was well and they’d be by in three days to pack.

On Tuesday, I got an email saying, “your household goods require more than a 40ft container – 19,000 lbs – which will cost an additional $7,000 out of pocket to add a 20ft container.”

Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning, instead of packing our suitcases, spent my time frantically trying to get rid of items in our house. However, none of our friends needed anything by way of furniture.

Wednesday afternoon, I wrote to the moving company and said, “Something isn’t right. Our family of seven moved ALL of our items over here in a 20ft container and there is NO WAY we need 60 cubic feet! I would like to put our move ON HOLD until you can send another person out to reassess the house.”

Late Wednesday night I got an email from the moving company saying (paraphrased), “Oops! Our bad! See you in the morning!”

::insert crazy cleaning / packing / sorting until 4am on Thursday morning::

Thursday morning, the movers arrived early. Instead of watching them waiting patiently in our driveway until 10am, we invited them in.

The finished up just after lunch, a day ahead of schedule.

Thursday night, we slept in a hotel…. with more kids to beds than was probably legal.

Friday morning, before I could get to the house to clean, I received a call from our relocation company saying that “the landlord is in your house and says it’s dirty… and that their Japanese furniture is missing.”

We rushed to the house.

I immediately got on the phone with the translator.

The house was empty when we moved in. There was NEVER a Japanese dining set in our house.

The landlord’s property manager told my translator that he didn’t think there was ever a dining set in the house, but, out of respect for our elderly landlord and his wife, was pursing the matter. ::facepalm::

Friday night, we slept in the same hotel… but in the crown suite. This way, we could all be, at least, in the same room.

We flew from Aomori to Narita, expecting to have a few hours in between our arrival time and the big flight… only to find out that our tickets had been canceled. When we purchased our tickets, our children tickets were in random places all over the plane. Tom called the airline to try to move our seats closer together.

Twice we were put on hold, and twice the call was dropped. It was getting late at night, and we decided to wish for the best and sort it out at the ticket desk at the airport.

However, during our time in Hold Music Hell, our tickets were mistakenly canceled. The reservation number was there, but the seats had been given to others.

Nearly $30,000 on our credit card later for last minute reservations, we had a flight booked for two days later, seats together.

Flights were the smoothest yet – no turbulence, no snags, no mishaps – and, while we were a bit delayed due to our tickets, the two days of rest were much needed. For once, I stepped onto an International flight feeling refreshed instead of sleep deprived… which is good, because, during the flight, I hardly slept at all.

We then had a six hour layover in Minnesota, where I sat down to lunch and fell asleep with my head on the table – and then took a flight to Philly.

We took a taxi from the airport — coincidentally, the driver had lived in Japan, and was married to a Japanese woman — to Tom’s parents house.

Sleep deprived and exposed to many germy germ germs, the kids and I all came down with a horrible sore throats, fevers and coughs.

Tab and Micah ended up with ear infections to boot.

We’re just starting to feel better.

At least we’re HERE.

Sarah’s Peach Sangria

Mouthwateringly succulent. The hint of mint adds just enough contrast to the palate to fully appreciate the peachy goodness. Dry ginger ale adds a subtle layer of complexity, complimenting the fruit with some sparkle. (Perfect for hot summer nights!)

1. Mix together and steep over night in the refrigerator:

1 Bottle Barefoot Pinot Grigio
1 Cup Peach Liqueur
1 Cup Peach Juice
3 Ripe peaches, sliced
10 Green grapes, halved

2. Ready to Serve
Fill highball glass 3/4 full with Sangria mixture.

3. Add Sparkle
Fill to just under the brim with Dry Ginger Ale.

4. Garnish
Accent with fresh mint sprigs, gently crushed to release flavor.

I was barely 19 on my wedding day. Barely.

Excusing their divorce, many people say, “I married young. I’m a different person now.” But, when I think of my relationship with my husband, I smile at the thought of how we not only grew up together but that we’ve grown together.

In a few short days, it will be our 11th wedding anniversary.

Real Zest is asking its readers to, “write up a list of things you’re grateful for.” I can’t think of a better opportunity to note the things I appreciate and admire most about the love of my life.

1. He knows what he believes and why.
When Tom speaks or writes, it’s never with wishy-washy words. It is direct. It is confident. He rarely offers a thought without much consideration, and he considers everything. Knowledge, especially about God, is a passion for him. Not only does he study works of those whom he agrees with, but of whom he is opposed. He inspires me to want to learn more and to think more — not just open my mouth absentmindedly.

2. He knows how to relax.
A little over a month ago, he asked if I wanted to go to Jamaica — just the two of us. I said, “Yes, but…” and he said, “Don’t worry, my mom’s watching the kids. I’ve got the details covered.” From the lovely beach, to the tasty food (and unlimited alcohol) to a luxurious hotel room, our recent getaway was phenomenal. When he’s not at work, Tom brings laughter with him. He plays games with the kids in a playful, yet competitive way. He insists on my taking off my apron and sitting down and relaxing with him for a late-night movie. He reminds me to take time for myself, and volunteers to watch the kids. “Here’s some cash. Go out with your girlfriends and have fun.” How cool is that?!

3. He takes an interest in his children.
When he comes home, he asks what our children learned. He carefully looks over their papers and asks questions. If they want to pursue a project or idea – like making cheese or learning about a particular event in history – he makes sure they have the information and supplies to explore their thoughts. He is patient when he teaches them, carefully noting what they understand, and where they need more encouragement via the whiteboard. He knows how to bring out the best effort in their work. He makes me desire to be a better teacher.

4. He provides for his family.
Stewardship is very important to Tom. He invests his money, and plans for our future. He takes care of our needs – from groceries to home repairs. Although I have a tendency to be a miser, he makes sure that I never have to feel guilty for asking for money. He knows how to stretch money, and he researches his purchases carefully. His diligence in our finances helps me to want to do my best with the resources entrusted to me.

5. He challenges himself.
When he starts to freak out in full SCUBA gear, he collects his thoughts and tries again. If he has an opportunity to get a new certification in information security under his belt, he studies diligently so he can pass. He always strives to do better and to set new records. Bejeweled is no exception. Tom’s tenacity helps me to keep trying, even when I feel like giving up.

6. He is supportive of my interests.
He makes sure I have time to study for my childbirth classes (even watching our children for a week while I went to Florida for my certification), and that I have all of the books and materials I need. He knows I love to write and encourages me to concentrate on my topics and study more about them so I can write from an informed perspective. If I ask for seeds for my garden, he helps me put together a budget and makes sure I have everything I need, even down to lovely planters I’ve had my eye on. He sends me emails with ideas and links for things that have been on my mind. Tom’s support gives me freedom to be myself and to maintain my identity as a person — making me easily contented to be called “mommy”.

7. He makes me blush.
He knows how I love to be touched, and it delights him to please me. From not-so-innocent brush-bys to putting his arms around me and kissing my neck while I’m working in the kitchen, he always makes me warm to my toes. In the middle of the night if I get up to help one of our children, he instinctively wraps his arms around me in his sleep as soon as I hop back into bed. He holds my hand in public…. even in Japan.

What seven things are you grateful for? Post them at Real Zest ASAP for a chance to win a $100 Zappos gift card :)

What do you love about the love of your life?